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Saturday, April 13, 2013

Fifty Shades of Madness.

I'm not an innocent-minded person when it comes to all things involving sex. I think being wordy has heightened my ability to be able to turn almost every sentence into an innuendo. But of course, I don't say everything I think, because most people would be shocked to find how dirty minded I can be.

Like every person out there, I've had encounters with porn before. However, I've probably only watched it less than 5 times in my life. And most of those times weren't intentional, but happened when I was snooping through other people's computers and accidentally clicked on files I truly had no idea were porn. I can't begin to tell you how awkward it feels like when things like that happen.

I just don't see the attraction in watching two naked sweaty strangers humping and groaning. If you really walked in on a couple going at it, wouldn't you more likely hightail it out of there instead of staring? I mean, some people may view it as sexually stimulating, but I just think its really, really embarrassing to watch someone else's private acts.

So no, I do not enjoy watching porn at all. And although I don't have any reservations about other people watching them, I'd much rather my future boyfriend not enjoy watching it either. (Another reason why I'm foreveralone.)


But confession time. Even though I am completely uncomfortable with watching such carnal acts, I have no issues (and sometimes relish) reading about it. One of my guy friends once said, "Girls like to act disgusted with guys that watch porn, but their books are all filled with it." And umm, I must concur that a huge part of this is true, because lots of girls enjoy romantic stories, and a lot of romance novel writers include smut scenes.

At one point in my life when I was so curious and hormonal, I purchased almost every title this one author had published, because her books were so sexually charged. I mean, I enjoyed her stories alone too, but I also knew half the reason I read her books was to read about the main characters' sexytime.

Even though I now prefer more dramatic storylines in my romances (current fav authors are Jojo Moyes and Marian Keyes), the authors still do tend to include a few naked parts, but I tend to discount it because I'm connecting it to the plot. I know porn in your head is no different from porn on the screen, but my justification is I don't read books for the sake of sexual gratification?


But I digress.

My point is, it had always been that teenage guys and girls would discover about the birds and the bees, through a medium we would hurriedly hide away should our parents come knocking on the door. The Asian conservative culture generally causes parents to never talk to their kids about sex; and should they try to, kids would cover their ears and run away 'cause noone wants to think about their parents that way. We've all been there, done that.

And I think, most girls learn about sex through reading about it. During my curious phase about 5-6 years ago, I only ever read about "normal" sex, where the guy humps the girl and that's it. Nothing kinky, mind you.

I am truly thankful that my curious phase is over now. Because if I had been born 5-6 years later, and reached for such books now, all I would know about is s&m. When Fifty Shades of Grey exploded on the scene (haven't read it and don't plan to), I don't think anyone expected it to become such a trendsetter. I was honestly really appalled that such a genre had become so mainstream, and I was so embarrassed to see people reading it in public.

I mean, the whole trilogy is about a normal girl that falls for a weird guy, and the weird guy likes whips and chains and all other pain-inflicting sex paraphernalia, and she's scared at first but in the end likes it. At least, that's the gist of what I think the books are about. All I know is that a lot of the book is taken up by scenes of sado-masochistic sex; and I know this because my sister and I had a little game. Whenever we saw unwrapped copies of a Fifty Shades book, we'd pick a random page number and see if there was a sex scene, and more often than not there always was.

S&m is one of those things I will always remain morally opposed to. And unlike porn, I wouldn't tolerate having friends that engage in s&m. I mean seriously, its called "making love", and if you love someone, why in the world would you want to inflict unnecessary pain on them? I truly believe such people are emotionally damaged in the most warped way.

I mean, as sexy as a black leather catsuit with black dominatrix boots and a whip looks, in the end would you really be turned on if the whip was used on you repeatedly? If anyone has ever been whipped by a belt, we all know its insanely painful, and an actual whip would be a million times worse. Who in their right mind could even think about sex if they're writhing in pain?

Only really sick people. And this is why I'm really worried for those going through their curious phase now, because more likely than not they're gonna all be turned on by thoughts of really painful sex.

I thought the Fifty Shades trilogy would only be a passing fad because it was just so risqué. But when I step into bookstores now, literally half the shelves in the Fiction section are smutty s&m books, mostly consisting of black covers with handcuffs or silk ties and names with 3 words like "Unwrapping Silken Bonds" or some similar mulch. And this makes me extremely uncomfortable, because I can't even browse for books in peace because all those titles keep jumping out at me.

I'm a huge bookworm, so I can easily spend a huge amount of time in bookstores. But this hasn't really been the case lately. When wanting to spend my book vouchers the other day, I wanted to read the behind of every book in the Fiction section. But on literally every shelf there was at least one row of s&m books, or worse, Nicholas Sparks books (he writes like a five year old and his popularity disgusts me). Needless to say, I was so uncomfortable I just gave up and left.

To be fair, I hadn't visited a bookstore in a long while, and was unprepared for the barrage of s&m books at that point. Because I went back again a few days ago and managed to ignore all the black books and find some little gems.


Nonetheless, this new "in" genre still disturbs me and will never be my thing. And I thought the vampire/werewolf romance onslaught was bad. I mean, vampires and werewolves are beings that live in dark forests and Transylvanian castles and hurt people, but we've brought them out of Horror and into Romance.

Although I hate to admit it because the movies were so badly made, I really did enjoy the Twilight book series. But again, I wrote it off as a one time deal, because I'd much rather vampires and werewolves stay as things we should stay away from. I mean, if they keep this up, soon enough we'll have nothing to put in scary movies anymore, because apparently we can fall in love with anything.

But the s&m fad is something I never want to be apart of. At least the vampire/werewolf you fall in love with won't ever hurt you, even though you inevitably wind up at the top of the hit list of some other mythical coven. On the other hand, your s&m partner won't be satified until you're covered in blood and bruises. He must care about you so much eh?

But of course, people are horny bastards and will make use of any and every sexual material that comes their way. If the s&m thing has grown to be this socially acceptable, I wonder what the next fad will be? Probably even more strange and controversial fetishes, which will serve to warp the sexual imaginations of all our little kids. Oh dear me.

Bestiality, or perhaps necrophilia anyone?

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