Sunday, December 30, 2012

What women want.


We want everything. And because these things sometimes contradict, many say we do not know what we want at all.

We want to be given equal opportunities and to be treated equally as our male counterparts. We want to prove that anything a man can do, women can do as well, and sometimes we can do it better. We want the world to know that we are a force to be reckoned with; that we should not be looked down upon or cast aside.

But yet, every single woman still wants to be treated like a precious, helpless damsel by a man. We want men to protect us, open doors for us, carry bags for us, and pay for us. We want to be treated as if we're the most delicate, fragile and precious treasure in existence.

We want to be Wonder Woman. But at the same time, we want to be Superman's Lois Lane. (But never Mary Jane; because noone in their right mind thinks an icky spider is sexy.)

We champion for the glass ceiling to be demolished, and cite pioneers from Amelia Earhart to Aung San Suu Kyi as our inspiration. We lament how women are portrayed as (sexy) secretaries and nurses, instead of company directors and doctors.

We hate the phrase "get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich" more than anything.

We claim that all males are chauvinist pigs, that believe women should be less smart and successful than their partners, and are only good for keeping house and making babies. We say that they feel threatened (emasculated) by powerful women that they cannot control or predict.

We say "I don't need a man". But then again, we don't see a great amount of women taking it upon themselves to unclog pipes, clean air-conditioner filters, tune car engines, or fix broken appliances and devices. If anything breaks or breaks down, we say that it's a man's duty to fix it.

So what exactly do women want then?

I have no clue. And I dare to say that no woman knows exactly what she wants either, in the neverending battle for gender equality.

But every single woman in the world wants to be respected, and to be treated as an individual with rights and dignity. We want to be treated as contributing members of society, and not viewed as belonging to a lower social class.

We do not want to be raped.

Recently, in the South African country of Swaziland, women have been banned from wearing revealing clothing, which includes (but is not limited to) miniskirts, midriff-baring tops, and low-rise jeans. Offenders can be arrested, and may face a maximum 6 month jail term.

This is in line with the repressive, archaic school of thought, that believe that women that dress sexily and/or act flirtatiously are responsible for any sexual assault, or even rape that happens to them. Some may even go further, to say that such women deserve to be raped, for deliberately tantalising men.

Most of us girls, have been endlessly lectured by our parents for our "overly revealing" choices of clothing. We are given a lecture every time we step out of our rooms wearing anything they consider too short, too tight, or too sheer. And while this is annoying and frustrating, I understand their worries, because they subscribe to this school of thought too.

But I wholeheartedly disagree. And so do many women all over the world, that regularly organise "slut-walks" in protest of this antiquated assumption.

Because no woman "is asking for it", or "deserves it", or "should have known better" when it comes to rape. Not a single woman alive wants to have a dick thrust inside her against her will.

Not the girl wearing short and tight clothing. Not the girl wearing a bikini. Not even a completely naked girl running in the streets. None of these girls should ever be held responsible if they are raped.

They didn't ask for non-consensual sex. They didn't ask to be kidnapped and forced upon and to be sexually abused. They didn't ask for all their self-worth to be taken away, the psychological trauma that will never fully heal, and all the other physical and mental scars that come with it. If they did ask, then it wouldn't even be reported as a rape case. (Assuming this doesn't involve minors below the age of consent.)

So why then, you argue, do women dress sexily? Isn't it to gain sexual attention from men?

To this I must concur. Women dress sexily for many reasons: to feel confident, to show off their assets, to rebel against clothing restrictions, etc. But yes, above all, we dress sexy to make an impression, to turn heads, and to attract attention from men. (Unless you swing in the other direction.)

I agree that dressing sexily may be inappropriate, and I accept that the way you dress will be how others form their opinions on you. Women that dress sexily may be labelled as sluts, may be considered to have loose morales, and may be frowned upon for the way they dress.

But I think this is fair. Society is perfectly entitled to have its own opinion on the personality and moral code of a woman based on how she dresses, and we are all guilty of putting labels on everyone else based on some superficial characteristic. Remember teasing the "nerd", the "crybaby", or the "teacher's pet" back when we were kids?

The labels of "bimbo"/"slut"/"whore" etc, are so commonplace nowadays anyway, that sometimes they don't even sting. And either way, such perceptions can be proven wrong, or failing that, can even be ignored. As long as we have people that love us for who we are instead of how we dress, what others say don't matter, right?

But rape is a crime, not something that can be ignored.

In dressing sexily, women accept that they will be judged for it. But it is not in any way justifiable or acceptable that women should be raped for how they dress.

So what if it causes sexual attention from men? Does it mean that men are incapable of rational thought or self-control? Is it not still the decision of the man whether or not to forcibly stick his dick in a woman?

"But wait! Sex is a primitive urge that man has no control over!" you cry.

To this I say, BULLSHIT. The majority of men in the civilised world have not committed rape towards a woman they are sexually attracted to. They either ignore it, start pursuing her, or in desperate cases, engage the services of a prostitute. To think that raping to satisfy sexual interest is justifiable in any way, I say that there is something very wrong with you.

Based on your logic, if someone drove around in a Porsche or wears a Rolex, they are flaunting their wealth and deserve to be robbed. Both presumptions are equally ridiculous, and hold no ground in any possible manner.

I reiterate, women want to be respected. No woman deserves to be ambushed on a public bus, gang-raped, beaten up, stripped naked, and then thrown off the bus, left with multiple serious physical injuries and inconceivable emotional trauma. The victim has since passed away after many hours of fighting for her life, bless her soul.

The case happened in India, where it is sad to say that rape, slavery, and "honour killings" are everyday occurrence in the country that has abhorable protection for the rights of women. The sheer brutality of this case has struck a cord with many Indian nationals, and countless people around the globe. Regardless of how this woman may have been dressing or acting, the crimes acted upon her were unconscionable and unjustifiable.

The only way rape cases will be reduced is by making men respect women and their right to their bodies. If there is no such respect, even if all the women in the world wore burkas and full-face veils, rape would still be rampant everywhere.

No sane woman ever stepped out of her house wanting to be raped. And it is time for the whole world to catch up with this.

Women want many things. Diamonds, Dior, and Dolce&Gabbana; Gold, Gucci, and GiorgioArmani; a dashing badboy with a heart of gold, perhaps may be demands a tad too extravagant.

But the right to dress how we see fit and not to be sexually forced upon, is not too much to ask for.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Mindless drivel at post-midnight.

(Update: Nah I'm not gonna blog about my Taiwan trip. Just felt like writing something at the time! Sorry!)

A quick update, because I haven't for so long:

I type this from a hotel room in Taipei, at the crazy time of 2am. I'm dead tired from a whole day of sightseeing, and really should be getting some rest, 'cause I'll need to be up and about for another full day tomorrow.

But it's just another one of those days where every limb of your body has been zapped of energy, but your mind just refuses to slow down and relax. So here I am, for the first time ever, blogging from a foreign country. It's only the end of day two here, but I've already reached my conclusion on Taipei.

Random points from a Malaysian tourist point of view:

1. The locals here are all bundled up in winter parkas and boots with faux fur and whatnot, while I'm literally strolling around in shorts and a t-shirt. The weather is 21 degrees, so I think they're nuts. And I'm ecstatic because normally I'm the first one to freeze up amongst anyone I know, so it's nice to not be the least cold-intolerant for once.

2. Almost every local guy is HOT. I'm incredibly impressed with the level of eye candy here! I don't know how they do it, but keep it up Taipei!

3. EVERYONE. BLOODY. SMOKES. The maddening volume of second hand smoke in the air is enough to make me to never want to return here. There's nothing cool about smoking, you eedjits.

4. In line with point 1, there is NO SHOPPING to be done for the tropical climate citizen, because every article of clothing on sale here is either a jacket, a sweater, is of outrageous design, or any combination of the above. Guess we just might be headed home empty handed.

5. Food is overall pretty good! Especially enjoyed DinTaiFung, which is miles higher quality than our pathetic Malaysian branch. Night market food was not particularly outstanding, but nothing fell below average either.

6. The WORST people in the world are tourists from China. They're rude, pushy, and come in multiple big groups that resemble a charging, impatient stampede of bulls. Stupid chinks.

(While being aware that by insulting Chinese idiots, I may seem to be attacking myself and my own culture; feel safely assured that I am only Chinese, and not an idiot at all.)

This post will probably be updated tomorrow, which will be the day Daddy drives us to the more outskirt towns to visit! Am expecting us to get hopelessly lost, and then struggle to obtain directions with our lousy Mandarin.

Until then, here's a picture of me from Taipei 101! Good night!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

You win some, you lose some.

I haven't written in a while. And I suppose I'd better explain why.

Writing is my escape; my safe haven from the big, scary world out there that I'm just unable to fit into. I write the most, when I become a social recluse and shut everyone and everything else out. And this just hasn't been happening lately.

The last few weeks have been a blur of events. Late night "yumcha" sessions with the usual bunch have also dramatically increased in frequency from 1-2 times a month to 2-3 times a week. I've been in zombie mode during classes, and whenever I have some alone time I'm usually too tired to be thinking of anything remotely blog-worthy.

Figures that while my normally barren social life begins to thrive, that my blog would suffer a massive hit. Can't be narky and angsty when I'm so darn happy all the time.

The only big issues that have been occupying my mind all revolve around my non-existent love life and how I'm tragically doomed to fall for unsuitable guys; my new crush is oh-so-yummy and devastatingly gorgeous, but lacks any form of ambition or drive. While a guy doesn't always have to be successful to be attractive, there is nothing that turns me off like an unmotivated flake. I don't foresee my crush lasting very much longer, which is a shame because he is just so good looking.

But then again, I've talked about my travesty of a love life in all my recent posts, and even I am sick of writing about it. Which leaves me nothing to write about.

But wait, you say, what about that issue about gender segregation in Kelantan? Female hairdressers not being allowed to cut the hair of male hairdressers and vice-versa, because it will lead to immoral activities in hair salons that have become the new brothels? Why haven't I written a longsss post on that?

Well it's because I don't like getting into politics on my blog. It's not only highly sensitive, but also literally dangerous to publish on a public network.

Most people are repeatedly harping on how the segregation ruling advocates a great unfairness towards non-Muslims. To me however, the whole thing is just yet another issue blown out of proportion to gain political mileage. I'm honestly annoyed that its been getting so much coverage to begin with.

I mean, the "biggest offender" supposedly got 10-11 summonses over the past 10 years, which means on average 1 summons per year? And yes, there is a clear violation of rights, which shouldn't be discounted even though cases are few and far between, and even one case is too many. Nevertheless, if this "grave injustice" has been going on for so many years, my big question is: why has noone ever spoken out about it before, be it when the Bill was gazetted in the first place, or during the past 2 general elections?

Probably because noone even gave a damn about the ruling anyway. It's annoying and demeaning when mass media attempts to completely brainwash us this way.

Again, I'm not in any way approving of the ruling, which clearly has the potential of causing much unnecessary hardship. My opinion is that because its hardly even enforced, this whole thing has been blown far, far out of proportion. It should be protested and repealed ASAP before any more trouble is caused.

And there's my two cents on the whole controversial ruling. Maybe I'd be more emotional if I lived in Kelantan, or if anyone I knew personally was affected by it. But as neither apply, I'm feeling extremely meh about it.

The biggest problem in my life right now is how I'm going to manage to even finish, let alone ace my law assignments that I haven't even started on, that will be due very soon. Since this has a direct and very real impact on my own future, I suppose the selfish part of me finds it a smidgen difficult to give more than just a passing glance of pity towards the struggles of other strangers right now.

I really should be hitting the books. But instead, I start going out more often, getting myself involved in more events, making plans to collaborate with someone on a music project, and well anything really to give myself an excuse not to study. Even if I have to blog when I don't really have anything to write about. (Sorry, dear reader.)

I'll have to get to work eventually. At which point I'll be completely rushing everything and hating my submission and complaining to anyone who will listen, like I do every single time. You'd think I'd have learnt not to procrastinate by now, but well I've just wasted 3 weeks doing making absolutely zero academic progress. Fantastic.

...And I've just made plans to head out shopping tomorrow. Whoops. Better luck next week.

But I shall not despair. For all good things come to an end, and I know that very soon I won't be inundated with invitations to hang out every other night, and will then be back to being a lifeless nobody. Then I will blog more and be forced to do my work out of sheer boredom.


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