Friday, August 10, 2012

The Art of being single.

I don't have many close confidantes. By no means am I an unfriendly person (I hope), it is merely because I find it difficult to meet kindred spirits that I can pour myself out to. I can feel entirely comfortable with my closest friends to not care about decent dressing or manners, and that level of comfort has not yet been found with the new people I've met in tertiary education so far.

However, this brings me to my next issue: my closest friends are ALL not single, bar none. Not that I was trying to hit on any of them! But this meant that in group outings, I was the clearly left out one that had to awkwardly pretend I didn't mind that I was surrounded by couples holding hands or with their arms around each other.

It used to be really depressing, and even now it sometimes still is, especially when we watch movies and they're all in various states of canoodling. I have a horrible, terrible, vegetable relationship history, so I'm guessing part of me feels jealous of their happiness.

But then again, I believe there is a reason I'm surrounded by such people. Bestf and I have been trying many times to plan a getaway for the old high school bunch, but plans keep falling through because literally everyone runs on a different timetable, so we all have holidays at different times. So she keeps asking me to finally get myself attached so we can go on a double date getaway; and even Paul keeps asking me to get myself laid.

But I tell them I can't. I've honestly not even had a serious crush since re-entering singledom over a year back, and I tell them it's all their fault. Because after many third wheel outings watching them, I've resolved to not get attached to anyone unless they can love me like how my besties respective partners love them.

The love that they have is so sweet and heartwarming, even after being together for years. The familiarity with which they casually hold hands or wrap their arms around the others waist, or call each other "bii" and insult each other in the next breath; makes me want to have the same strength and passion with my future love(s) and nothing less.

I do feel lonely sometimes when circumstances are bleak or after I've just watched a heart-wrenching love story, but for the most part I'm good, and am very happily living the single life. Maybe one day I'll start collecting cats and live in a wooden shack, but right now I'm happy with where I am.

Maybe it's because I already have impossibly high standards for guys. Besides the obvious "doesn't smoke, take drugs, or heavily drink" golden rule, I like tallish guys that are preferably fit but can never be scrawny. They have to be intelligent enough to keep up with me, don't habitually swear, and cannot be in any way metrosexual (anything from dyeing hair to wearing pink to speaking with an affected girly tone turns me off the the max).

It wouldn't in any way hurt if he was Catholic, good looking, and artistically inclined too. I prefer musician/dancers to artists/writers, but only because I'm a sucker for a man on stage, and have always dreamed of being serenaded. So add all that to the requirement of "loves me truly, madly, deeply", and you've got yourself an impossible job ahead of yourself, eh Cupid?

Yeah, sure I could lower my standards and just accept the offers that have already come my way, but why should I have to compromise my standards just so I won't be lonely? Recently, even my mom has come to me a few times and asked me if any guy has caught my fancy and if she should set me up with this Datin's son, because even she thinks I've been single for far too long.

I'm not sad or lonely; I'm perfectly fine being single.

I'm patiently waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet, give me butterflies whenever I think of him, and make me fall head over heels in love with him. If that guy doesn't show up, I'd rather remain single for the rest of my life than end up with someone who doesn't love me as fiercely as I love him.

So to anyone that is single and reading this, I hope you never compromise your standards just to alleviate momentary loneliness. Because loneliness is just a passing emotion, and I know from experience that the longer you spend with someone you don't love, the more you discourage and push away someone that could have been The One.

Oh well. Life goes on, and I'm still young. After all, there's more to life than boys, right? Right?

...Now let's all return to stalking random people on facebook.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Template by