Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Lone wolf.

(Apparently, as famous as that saying is, I've since found out that a "lone wolf" is actually a wolf that has been cast out from its pack after being defeated in a fight, and is doomed to die soon. Since its supposed to personify a person that likes being alone, I think its a horribly inaccurate saying, and should be replaced with something like "lone tiger" or "lone wolverine".

But I digress.)

So my baby sister has been gone for a week now. Off to Japan for a homestay programme (which I never had the privilege to attend so I am very, very envious), and won't be back for a few more days.

And to my complete shock, I do not miss her.

Perhaps I should explain. My sister is the person I make a habit of annoying numerous times every single day. We are also roommates and rarely do I ever go to sleep without her next to me. I am so used to having her be a part of my day, I thought there would be an unbearable ache when she would be gone for so long.

But nope, I have been completely fine on my own. If anything, I am annoyed that the days are going so fast and the week is already almost gone, as I have yet to take to the books at all. (Am on a study break currently for a week, and it has been completely unproductive thus far.)

What bothers me is this: I have been so sucked into my little self-absorbed bubble that I do not rely on interactions with others to complete my day anymore. If I were a Sim, my social bar would be practically non-existent, as I have become so introverted that it is now worrying.

I enjoy being alone, yes, but I'd always thought that one day I'd blossom into a social butterfly. Like all those pretty, popular girls we all know that head out every week to party all night long, and whose phone never seems to stop buzzing. Seems that as I grow older however, I've only retreated further into myself, and cannot be bothered with late nights out nor chatting.

And this worries me. Because I'll have to go choose my 47 cats now to begin my days as a lonely spinster, doomed to spend forever in reclusive loneliness, and truly not feeling any loss.

Butbutbut, this can't be good. Because you see, I don't like cats one bit.

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